I was reading Matthew 8 this morning, and the last bit of it was so sad. Yeshua had just cast demons into swine healing the possessed men. The witnesses rushed home to spread the news. Then the whole town came out to see Yeshua-to beg Him to leave. How heart-breaking. Here, the people had been exposed to the amazing redemptive and healing power of the Son of God-but they were too fearful of this power to embrace the presence and work of God.
I think of C.S. Lewis' "The Silver Chair" wherein at one point, the girl Jill is terribly thirsty and seeks water from a nearby stream. She sees a great lion by the stream of water who tells her, "If you are thirsty, you may drink." The conversation goes on, and she admits that she is dying of thirst, but is absolutely terrified of the lion- the same lion that she had previously witnessed saving her friend's life. She asks the lion to promise not to do anything to her if she comes close to him to get water, but he will not promise. In fact he admits that he has "swallowed up girls and boys, women and men, kings and emperors, cities and realms.” Jill then decides that she won’t come and drink. The lion tells her she will die of thirst and that there is no other stream wherein to find water. Finally recognizing she cannot live unless she trusts the lion, she moves forward, and drinks the water. She then finds the lion to be much more than she first suspected. In fact he is Aslan, who forgives her, cares for her and uses her in his righteous cause.
I read this passage in Lewis for the first time years ago, but it has always spoken to my heart. Just as the people in Galilee in Matthew 8, and just as Jill in Narnia (in an allegorical sense), we are faced with the decision to see the power of God and run from it, or to recognize the life that is in it, and to trust, knowing that there is no predictability in following Him.
I am sometimes to afraid of what God will do in His unpredictable ways to really follow Him. I feel that way now, going forward in ministry. Sometimes, I just want out or to keep things status quo to avoid the unknown trials that He will surely take me through. Yet, I know that living any other way than according to His will is not really living at all.
Just a chapter back, in Matthew 7, Yeshua had said that the path to destruction is wide and easy, but that the road to life is narrow and difficult. He is completely honest about the difficulty of the journey, but also about the end result- LIFE.
Lord, please grant me another day’s grace to move forward with You, the One who calms seas and casts out demons. Even as I fear your greatness, let me be so secure in Your love that I cannot help but cast fear aside in pursuit of You.
