To pretend that Martin Luther chose to propose to Katherine Von Bora at this time because of some romantic notion of falling in love would be inconsistent with history. Love was to be a prominent characteristic of their marriage, but it began on rather unromantic terms. Luther was convicted that it was time for him to marry, and knowing that Katherine would be open to his proposal, he found her to be the most logical and available choice. Still convinced that he would likely one day be killed as a heretic, Luther candidly told Katherine that were she to marry him, she would share his fate. Showing herself to be a match for his boldness and commitment to Christ’s work, she accepted his proposal even with this caution.[1]
On June 13, 1525, they were married privately, and held a public ceremony a couple of weeks later.[2] Katherine was 26 years old and her new husband, Martin was 42. Though Luther married as proof to the world that he was a man who sincerely believed what he was preaching, he found himself happily surprised by his decision and was enthusiastic about his new marriage in letters to friends. He wrote in one letter: “A good wife is not found accidently and without divine guidance. On the contrary, she is a gift of God, and does not come, as the heathen imagine, in answer to our planning and judging.”[3]
Yet, the Luthers' marriage was, at this time, one of two people who were very nearly strangers. Katherine found herself married to a great man, as she had desired, but soon discovered that marriage to a great man is not an easy life. She shared her husband with the whole Protestant Reformation! Luther, a long time bachelor, was accustomed to having his friends come and stay with him for weeks at a time, and saw no reason to change this habit after his marriage. From the very first weeks of their marriage, Katherine had to get used to taking care, not only of her husband, and later, their children, but all sorts of other visitors and needy people who her husband welcomed into their home.
Katherine was disappointed early in her marriage to discover that her husband did not love her in the all-consuming way in which she had hoped to find his love. He wrote in a letter to a friend shortly after their marriage that “…I feel neither passionate love nor burning for my spouse, but I cherish her.”[4] Luther’s marriage has sometimes been criticized for such statements, but much must be taken into account. First of all, marriages based on convenience or conviction were more common in Luther’s day than marriages based primarily on romance. But beyond this, is the reality that remains today- true love is not an instant occurrence, but a growing bond between two people. Reading Luther’s letters to Katherine, we find an increasing fondness, mutual dependence, affection and camaraderie that can be labeled nothing other than genuine love between a husband and wife. He calls her his “joy” and his “heart’s love”. He wrote several years after they were married that “If I should lose my Katie I would not take another wife though I were offered a queen.”[5] He said of his reliance on her, “In domestic affairs, I defer to Katie. Otherwise I am led by the Holy Spirit.”[6] The commitment to the Lord and to each other that their marriage began with was a foundation that led to a happy and close marriage.
Together, Martin and Katherine had six children, four of which survived to adulthood. When Katherine lost her 13 month old daughter, Elizabeth, she took to her bed and grieved deeply. During this time of sorrow, however, Katherine found a deeper bond with her husband, as he also grieved for his lost little daughter as he never thought possible. [7] Both Martin and Katherine were known to be very devoted parents who were affectionate and diligent to train their children in the things of the Lord.
As Katherine grew in her sense of purpose and calling as Luther’s wife, she began to enjoy her marriage more. She saw her husband’s eccentricities for what they were and worked to “help him” overcome some of them. “Once he locked himself in his study and did not emerge for three days.” Katherine grew tired of his self-inflicted exile from his family, and decided to take matters into her own hands. “Katie had the door removed whereupon he looked up in bewildered innocence and asked what harm he was doing.”[8] A long time monk, and longer time bachelor, he had not fully adjusted to being a part of a family, and she meant to teach him how.
Martin Luther, in his great generosity would virtually impoverish his own household. He was known to take in boarders without charging them, and would feed anyone who came to his door. Katherine struggled to budget for her household and feed their six children while her husband’s generous heart seemed to equate to a blind eye toward his own empty coffers. When friends and wealthy patrons offered Luther money to help with expenses, he would firmly reject it, not wanting to risk fueling his enemies’ accusations that his work was for worldly gain. Katherine grew frustrated with what she saw as her husband’s lack of fiscal wisdom and determined to find a way to save face for him and to provide for the family as well. It became known of her that if someone wanted to give gifts of thankfulness to the cause of Martin Luther, they would best go through his wife. She accepted gifts from these patrons and used the funds to keep the Luther household afloat.
It was very well for Luther that his wife was so apt at household management. His home, which was essentially house, hostel, hospital and school all together, usually housed about 40 people at a time. It was called the Black Cloister and was a central meeting place for Reformers traveling across Europe. It was also the center of Biblical education, care for the sick and home to orphans. Katherine was the accomplished mistress of this cloister.
Katherine accepted her role as the wife of a very busy man and grew to enjoy being a part of the important work he did. She took on the life of the woman depicted in Proverbs 31, and saw to the needs of her household so well that her husband had no need to be concerned. “Martin often called her ‘the morning star of Wittenberg’ since she rose at 4 A.M. to begin her many responsibilities- and often worked until 9 in the evening. Luther often had to urge her to relax.”[9]
Katherine shared with her husband a rich, and even scandalous, sense of humor. His letters to her are full of teasing, particularly for the bossiness Kate was famous for. Nine years into their marriage, he wrote while on a journey, “Yesterday, I had bad stuff to drink, and was made to sing. It is annoyance to me to have bad wine to drink, when I remember what good wine and beer I had at have at home, besides a pretty wife- or should I say, master?”[10] She could take his teasing, and deliver some of her own as well. Luther was a difficult and stubborn man, but Katherine had a way of pointing out areas that he needed to adjust in a light and teasing way that was very effective. A story is told where Martin was in a deep state of depression and could not be cheered. One morning, Katherine donned a black dress, and made a solemn appearance. Confused by her dress, Martin asked her, “Are you going to a funeral?” “No”, she calmly replied, “but since you act as though God is dead, I wanted to join you in mourning.” Amused but duly challenged, Luther shook off his depression![11] Katherine also was known to encourage Luther to tone down harsh statements toward others in his writing. She did not, however, desire for her husband to be weak toward opposition either. On one occasion, Luther was entreated by friends not to carry a written attack against an opponent, Hans Woltenbütel, due to potential political ramifications. Luther, not normally one to back down, nearly did so in this case, until his wife convinced him to stay strong regardless of the consequences. He proceeded to publish a tract called Wider Hans Wurst, which is translated essentially, “Against Hans Baloney”.[12]
Luther’s letters to his wife depict their growing love for each other. Luther writes to assure his wife of his health, which she was often concerned about, being his faithful nurse in his sickness. He also expresses anxiety for her when there were rumors of war near where she was staying when he was travelling.[13] In his Table Talks, he records conversations with Katherine on several occasions, showing her to be a lively conversationalist, and a good scholar. She was very respectful to him, but was not afraid to challenge him, particularly when she deemed him too harsh to his theological opponents. His writing shows them to be great friends, as well as husband and wife.
Luther was known to say, “Let the wife make the husband glad to be home and let him make her sorry to see him leave.”[14] This, by all accounts, was an aspiration gained by Martin and Katherine Luther. United in purpose and heart, their marriage was strong and happy.
Martin Luther died in 1546 at 62 years old. Katherine wrote this of him: “{I am} deeply grieved and saddened over the loss of such a dear and precious man as my husband has been.” She lived seven more years, and died at the age of 53. Her love for her husband had been second only to her love for the Lord, and in her final words, she is recorded to have said that her truest desire was to “cling to Christ like a burr to a dress.”[15]
This story has been an inspiration to me. Katherine was a true "help-meet", recognizing the sacrificial nature of love and allowing her strengths to compliment her husband greatly. This is the kind of wife I want to be! I hope this story has been an encouragement to you as well. Soli Deo Gloria.
[1] Bainton, 27.
[2] Taylor, 222-223.
[3] What Luther Says, 906.
[4] Luther’s Works, 48:117.
[5] Luthers Briefwechsel, 3253.
[6] Bainton, 27.
[7] Luthers Briefwechsel , 1303
[8] Ibid, 30.
[9] Taylor, 228.
[10] Luther’s Letters to Women, Chapman and Hall (1865), 83.
[11] Markwald and Markwald, 140.
[12] Bainton, 38.
[13] Luther’s Letters to Women, 117.
[14] Table Talks, 6320.
[15] Luther’s Works, 176, 192.
Loved it! such a good one. And so fun to read <3
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